@T_Bonezzz: I shook this magic 8-ball for some advice and now there's cocaine everywhere
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@Girl_Censored: A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said "you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream.
@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@iwearaonesie: 9: I'm going to live with you guys forever me: I don't ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again
@Swishergirl24: Parenting is all about multitasking. Like trying to brush your teeth while you're rock climbing.