@T_Bonezzz: I shook this magic 8-ball for some advice and now there's cocaine everywhere
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@LeoLion_16: My neighbours loved that song so much, they threw a rock in my window to hear it better.
@Reverend_Scott: [kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Um, the Stork. [stork knocks on bedroom window] He's lying.
@the_rock_chic: Just walking down the "Gluten Free" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts.