@Tmoney68: I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
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@Shock_Monster: The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him "Bambi." nnShe deserved what she got for that.
@jeffswarens: After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
@Gre_Gone: (scientists naming weird spiny thing in a bush) Scientist 1: This thing sucks Scientist 2: Yeah! S1: It's hogging all the hedges! S2: Wait.
@timdonakowski: I like to mute CNN and imagine they're arguing about what appetizer, or appetizers, to order at TGIFridays.