@deekizzle: I should really stop writing "lol" after "exercise" on my to do lists.
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@abbycohenwl: I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed
@BlindChow: *tree falls in the forest* *tree pretends to start jogging so it doesn't look like an idiot*
@FatherofTweet: Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike.
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.