@ChefChas82: I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties.
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@The_KJM: I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial.
@SufficientCharm: What do you mean you're not going to spank me? I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you?
@Izianikapani: I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano.
@SortaBad: [Christina Aguilera begins singing the lyrics 'You Are Beautiful' at her concert, notices me in the audience, and abruptly stops]