@gaynorlsimpson: I should sell this house, the rooms spin when I drink vodka.
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@iamspacegirl: My lasso of truth is just an eel I point aggressively at the people I'm questioning. We have a 100% success rate.
@Cyd10e: My brother never donates blood because he hates the thought that his blood is having more fun in somebody else than it ever did in him.
@TheBigBatman: Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?
@AKcrazy18: When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house.