@sonictyrant: I shouldn't say this aloud but which idiot called it bug spray and not buzz kill
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@Firawesome: I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?
@TheToddWilliams: Girl: I love Medieval Art Boy: Who doesn't? There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence?
@TheToddWilliams: Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
@Chumpstring: KID: what do geese do at night PARENT: good question GOOSE(in a surveillance van): [spits out coffee] dammit we’re running out of time