@catlikethiefx0: I should've been a child star so I could've gotten all my working out of the way and been an accomplished drug addict by now.
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@NOTVIKING: me: you wanna hang out later? her: sorry i don’t talk to guys who are under 6’ me: please mom i miss you
@ericsshadow: ME: my son ran away COP: we won't rest until we find him ME: [swiping LEGO aside with both feet] no rush
@Sean_Burgundy_: My 40 yard dash time: 5.5 My 40 yard dash time after seeing my gf with my phone in her hands: 4.3
@AudreyPorne: I just won $8 on a scratch ticket. Lock up your girlfriends, I got that double cheeseburger money