@catlikethiefx0: I should've been a child star so I could've gotten all my working out of the way and been an accomplished drug addict by now.
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@AristotlesNZ: Undressing with the curtains open is my little way of giving back to the old ladies in our neighborhood watch.
@Xoolun: When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
@AristotlesNZ: Me: There's a real fat one on the other team! Her: "My son's not fat!" How you know I was talking about him? "Cuz he's the.." Fat one? "Ya."
@causticbob: I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'