@RealSamHarwood: I shouted "the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour
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@Tetley6969: I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink.
@1BigMick: If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they break into your home is smash your family pictures.
@rickolantern: Me: Was this product tested on animals? Clerk: Yes. Me: [outraged] I knew it!!!! Clerk: Sir, that's a dog leash.