@kristygee: I show extra confidence at a job interview by giving a firm handshake before and after every question.
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@urgeekisshowing: That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean.
@WittySassBasket: H: this may be difficult, but you're pregnant. *flips table* *punches mirror* THAT IS THE LAST TIME I BUY CLEAN URINE OFF CRAIG'S LIST!
@joejwest: ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments
@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving