@TEXASVETERAN: I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein.
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@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
@Mellicubed: My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down.
@simoncholland: 2016 has been pretty bad but at least girls stopped drawing mustaches on their index fingers and holding them under their noses.