@joeljeffrey: I skipped leg day at the gym, but don't worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I'm good to go.
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@KentWGraham: I don’t think this bowl of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my desk is making me as indispensable to the workplace as I had hoped.
@d_duhwit: Elf cop:"We got a robbery in progress on Candy Cane lane. Hit the light Rudolf! *Rudolf sticks nose through sunroof*
@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.