@joeljeffrey: I skipped leg day at the gym, but don't worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I'm good to go.
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@eddiesteadyno: A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese.
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.
@Jabba_Jabba_Jaw: "I'll shave whoever I want! I'll shave you, I'll shave her! I'll shave a goddamn baby if need be!" Sean Connery, boasting about his heroism
@KeetPotato: [babies txting] "my dad's thumb just came off" lol wtf 😂 "wait its back on again nvm" ok lmao "he just stole my nose" im phoning the police