@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
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@Brampersandon_: I have a very particular set of skills *puts down phone* *sounds of a struggle* *yells* Ok you can't see this but I'm totally doing the worm
@starrysappho: my phone, crying: ..pleaSe... I have no space.... delete some photos... I'm begGing you.... me: *hits download*
@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name.