@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
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@WheelTod: "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "Where do Cowboys come from?" "Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."
@KentWGraham: I wish I could be like my cable company’s customer service line and make people press 37 different numbers before they can talk to me.
@MomofTeen: When emails tell me to "Act Now!," I immediately start reciting lines from Shakespeare.