@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
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@Smethanie: My 8-year-old just offered me leftover cashews from his lunch, asking "Do you want these nuts?" and I'm not mature enough to be a parent.
@Barack_and_Joe: Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*
@LaziestCanine: *holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up an opened lap top* this is my sound cloud, please check it out