@timdonakowski: I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow just in case a gang of cats break in while I'm sleeping.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pabstdriver: I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone.
@Bob_Janke: Reports say 3 billion Yahoo accounts were hacked and suddenly 3 billion people remembered they had yahoo accounts.
@Dmvm1977: Whenever I'm feeling low, I grab a pen.. and I write something joyful and happy to lift my spirits. Today I'm writing my bosses obituary.