@Jesssicle: I sleep with a water gun near my bed, in case of cat burglar.
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@WhrTheBrainRots: If I consider you a friend, I'll be there for you. With an ear, a shoulder, a drill, a shovel, an alibi - whatever you need to feel better.
@realHamOnWry: Today Donald Trump renewed his talk about surveillance on Mosques, gun control and adding alligators to FBI No Fly lists.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Cop 1: Where did you come from? Cop 2: Where did you go? Cotton Eyed Joe: I want a lawyer.