@Super_Cynthia: I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side.
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@CakeThrottle: I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow
@skittle624: When my husband asked me do something creative for dinner, I drew a cute picture of a dog on a napkin and put it next to the pizza box.
@ficklenuts: Me: “Alexa, put on some jazz and pour me a drink.” My daughter, Alexandra: “Stop calling me that! Crap like this is why I live with Dad!”