@Boleyngirly: I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: You know, I hear a lot of guys are celebrating St. Patrick's Day this year with a quiet dinner at home. Me: Yea, the nursing home...
@gossipgriII: using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
@HiddenPinky: "If you were a spy and having drinks at a spy bar, what would you want?" "I could tell you, bud, I'd have tequila."