@KenJennings: I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Xoolun: My wife tells me she wants me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Why does mom always yell at you? Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you’re stupid?
@JCWisdomNuggets: Next time a dude says "Pictures or it didn't happen", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.