@BangGanged: I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I'm not even married.
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@pleatedjeans: Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I just got asked to work on a "special project" which is boss for "This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."
@lil_dead_girl_: You don't realize how much you miss someone until they come back from the dead.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision.