@envydatropic: I slipped on ice and discovered I'm a natural at break dancing
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@Storminika: I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way
@TheHyyyype: HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!
@heatherlou_: If you're moving to a new house for a "fresh start," congratulations your new house is haunted.
@Muaythaigirlie: Had a date planned for tonight but he got electrocuted at work. I'm serious The things men do to avoid hanging out with me is amazing.