@MsNitnots: I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [me as a ninja] [a smoke ball is thrown in a park] [when the smoke clears, all of the dogs in the park have stealthily been petted]
@DaddyJew: Me: just cuz my resume is on a napkin doesn't mean it's not good Employer: there's a chicken nugget stuck to it Me: oh is there? *winks*
@Shanehasabeard: Home buying tips: -Up & coming area = Murders -Good for young professional = Cheap bc of murders -Open layout = See murders from the kitchen