@MsNitnots: I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer.
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@UniqueDude2: Angry Birds? Hmmph. In my day we had real entertainment. For instance, have you seen the classic film "The Birds?" It's about Angry Birds.
@SamuelHLowe: I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, "So, what do we have here?"
@Shock_Monster: "Hey, let's get the guys that built the Obamacare website to update our app!" - Twitter
@leechee420: I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like "good luck guys" and walked away. I'd be a great mother.