@Brianhopecomedy: I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she'll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
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@DadandBuried: My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them. Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels.
@CallmeMrBigs: Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft.
@iwearaonesie: How people watch movies when they’re: DATING *hold hands* ENGAGED *cuddle* MARRIED *one person turns the volume up when I’m choking on a piece of popcorn*