@tastefactory: I smoked e-cigs for so long that I got e-cancer. I'm ok though, I just swallowed a Norton Antivirus cd and it cleared things up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jonnysun: CANADIAN: im a canadian DATE: cool i've never met a comedian befor CANADIAN: [is too polite to corect them, dedicates entire life to comedy]
@lovemydogduck: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
@iwearaonesie: Anytime someone loses something in the office HR doesn't ask if anyone's seen it, they just send out an email that says "Give it back Josh"
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Febreze commercial: "Now we remove her blindfold and..." *has panic attack, stabs camera man, vomits, jumps out closed window*