@murrman5: I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift
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@dafloydsta: I'm commonly known to my friends as "that nutty guy" Haha, just kidding. Squirrels can't talk.
@robdelaney: Reminder: Please just hit the "RT" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art.
@BryceElder: Heard a guy talking about Belgian whistles. "A basic website costs 10k, or 25k upwards if you want all the Belgian whistles," he said. Belgian whistles.
@stanleybehrman: From my hospital bed it occurred to me, that i could never work in a hospital because there are too many opportunities to nap.