@ingmarbirdman: i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PencilWalrus: [Job interview] "What would you say is your greatest strength?" "Sticking my fingers in people's mouths." "Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,