@Faptually: I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month on eBay.
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@tastefactory: "My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire
@maddie11_Anders: Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?
@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as "not Bruce Willis" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling
@murrman5: dave is coming to play poker "dave from college or dave who walks like he's in a video game?" [dave takes 3 tries to walk through open door]