@goofyrice: I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"
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@TheQuietPsycho: CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it's the spirit of a loved one. I think that's my mom Me: that's nice. Your mom just shit on that guy
@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
@paperphotoyo: *accidentally skips the bottom step of the stairs* Oh my God. This must be what a sky diver’s rush feels like.