@jus4golf: I speak fluent hint. - No man anywhere, ever, never ever
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@fro_vo: *running from cops* Me: hey wait hold up if we're gonna do this i really should be wearing my fitbit Cop: yeah me too good idea
@rickygervais: The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case.
@1Happytwit: They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug.
@primawesome: Facebook: Hey remember this pic of your dog that died? Me: Damnit Facebook not now. FB: Sorry... FB: Your ex girlfriend is getting married.