@envydatropic: I spend a lot of money at Sephora for someone who's got access to filters
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@philyuck: Horse-drawn carriages are pretty cool but the horses should learn to draw other stuff
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@blade_funner: (me as a paramedic) *rubbing two cymbals together* Clear! *slams cymbals together* WAKE UP!