@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.
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@DanielAda1960: Napkins used after eating hot wings and then put in your pocket should NEVER be used as toilet paper no matter how much you've had to drink.
@CopBroughtPizza: "even if my client did kill his wife, think of the 7.4 billion people he DIDN'T kill." - my first and last day as a defense attorney
@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.