@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.
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@CauseWereGuys: Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri "What do women want?" She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.
@TheBoydP: If you get nervous when the IT support desk takes control of your computer remember they're whispering "no weirdos please" to themselves.
@HorryPuttor: deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim.
@hippieswordfish: ME: hah, no way. well, maybe sometimes- or i guess...yes? i don't know, what was the question again INTERVIEWER: are you indecisive