@lalastrailer: I spent the whole day cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean trying to find out where my son hides his weed.
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@FrenulumBreve: [hands over brown bag with £10,000 ransom] "Now give me my wife." "This is short by £2.39" [hides Mcflurry] "it's all I got."
@sarcasticmommy4: Took my kids out to dinner & was quickly reminded why I never take them out to dinner.
@samuelhlowe: Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I've ever been to hunting my own food.
@jctwritesstuff: The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out.