@lalastrailer: I spent the whole day cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean trying to find out where my son hides his weed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tommytoughstuff: [job interview] "So what would you say is your biggest weakness?" "I'm pretty bad at reading situations." *tries to kiss interviewer*
@mlefaye: I bet a lot of guys who don't think that rape is a big deal were super upset when that U2 album was put on their phone without consent.
@yungsweater: Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*
@BBQJones28: I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them.