@bingowings14: I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it.
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@teen_news69: LIBERAL PARENTS REFUSE TO GIVE NAUGHTY TEEN COAL: "fossils fuels cause global warming" "billy woke up to solar panels in his stocking"
@RandiLawson: Free tip for home invaders: literally everybody with an iPhone6 is out at brunch right now
@the_couch_guy: People of Twitter: If you worry that you aren't creative enough, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.