@bingowings14: I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro.
@iwearaonesie: 8: ow ow ow ow ow me: what are you doing? 8: looking for my toy me: why don't you turn your light on? 8: i can see in the dark me: carry on
@dafloydsta: [death row] GUARD: Ok, here's your last meal. Bon appétit. CAT: *slowly pushes meal off table*