@bingowings14: I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it.
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@notalogin: What kind of doctor are you? -Apathologist A... pathologist? -No, apathologist. People come to me when they need medical don't care.
@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
@MissWont: It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones.