@chelliet22: I start conversations with my children by saying "Listen to me," to ensure they stop paying attention from the beginning.
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@Social_Mime: I've been asked why I like dogs more than people. Short answer: My dog has never included me in a group text.
@bourgeoisalien: 5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'
@rickygervais: Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)