@chelliet22: I start conversations with my children by saying "Listen to me," to ensure they stop paying attention from the beginning.
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@P0tterhead_394: "You have a very large package downstairs." I really need to work on how I word things to the men around this office.
@chuuew: Me: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Friend: That's OK. I don't mind M: The mess tho F: Don't be silly M: I don't want u in my house
@thepunningman: "The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what? "Bond Name's the james" Are you alright? "Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
@doktorj: ER: Ma'am, are you allergic to any medications? Me: I'm not answering your silly questions until you give me the wifi password.