@myles_morrison: I start every argument off with "first of all..." like I'm really going to school them, but my second point is always just name calling.
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@Momtoteens: Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes.
@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners
@TwoSapphiresBlu: That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty.