@myles_morrison: I start every argument off with "first of all..." like I'm really going to school them, but my second point is always just name calling.
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@TEXASVETERAN: If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe.
@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.
@Rollinintheseat: *Shakespeare resetting his password* "Enter new password." Fortnight "Your password is two weeks."