@girlontapas: I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
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@natedog2049: Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait.
@ilovepie84: I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
@osigat: People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.
@SuMacDan: Teens are leaving FB for Twitter & Instagram to escape parents. Silly rabbits, we were here first.