@Dawn_M_: I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life.
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@Blonde4Dayz: H: "Whatcha doing?" Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"
@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
@RocketRankoon: Have I ever steered you wrong? *flashback to you at zoo in bear suit Me: They wont attack if ur dressed like one of them, now go get my ball
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?