@archerenemy: I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them...
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@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
@ceejoyner: For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage.
@sbellelauren: the craziest thing about today's story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING