@archerenemy: I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them...
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@MariyaAlexander: "I'm liking where this is going" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face.
@SteveStockmanTX: The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out.
@tchrquotes: What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?
@youngestneil: I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask "are we there yet?" when they're fully aware they now live in a car