@DailyAdviser: I still don't understand why we are supposed to eat the tampon afterwards
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@magicraisin: She said: "I want to have your children." . Me: "They'll be on the first bus in the morning."
@Bob_Heller: "Sir... your family is dead. APRIL FOOLS!!!! Kidding!!! Your son made it! He's in a coma! OMG You shoulda seen your face!" - Worst ER doc
@jwoodham: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you've got 5 more rounds in the chamber. You'll get that moon eventually. He'll pay for what he did.
@pmclellan: So my drug dealer just died. I'm thinking about going to his funeral to, you know, network.