@BobTheSuit: I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
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@CourtneyBale: Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas.
@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.
@ieatanddrink: It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity
@krissywillbretz: When I said "I'm really good in bed" I was referring to sleeping. Sorry for the misunderstanding, you can pull your pants up now.