@frankzulla: I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!
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@bombsydoll: What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
@XplodingUnicorn: [5-year-old and 3-year-old scream at each other] Me: Is that how your mom and I settle arguments? 5: You want me to sleep on the couch?
@daniel_shaw: I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.