@frankzulla: I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!
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@HighOnDrunk: I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just ridiculous!
@PetrickSara: [Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table.
@KKAlThani: A cop stopped me & asked "do you know why I followed you" so I said "cause my tweets are funny" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in jail.