@frankzulla: I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!
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@sensitivetim: 2 friends and I once pulled the 3 kids in a trenchcoat trick & killed a man got tried as an adult but when they hung mike, paul & I fell out
@ingmarbirdman: space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time
@trumpetcake: People always complain that I'm "out there." [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I should tell him how I feel. Beer: Nah. Vodka: Just be sweet about it. Whiskey: Or yell it. Tequila: MAKE SURE YOU CRY GUYS LOVE THAT