@CakeThrottle: I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
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@AndyAsAdjective: If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works
@sad_tree: *paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot
@NotGoodEthan: "IN THIS CORNER.. DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON" *the rock beats chest* AND IN THIS CORNER... RYAN "PAPER" WALLACE *the rock is visibly nervous*
@Fred_Delicious: Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused