@CakeThrottle: I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
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@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!
@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar