@realHamOnWry: I still remember when airlines gave you two choices; smoking, and chain smoking.
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@YesitsAl: Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now
@MrGeorgeWallace: I'm just sayin', corn dogs are gonna have to pick a side when the shit goes down between corn and dogs.
@jwoodham: The best vacation? Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map. Where did it land? Doesn't matter. Just keep your eyes closed and go to sleep.
@robdelaney: Haha my cousin's safeword is "chalice." (We don't have sex; I saw it cuz I hacked his email to get his salmon casserole recipe)