@realHamOnWry: I still remember when airlines gave you two choices; smoking, and chain smoking.
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@Kirangandhi: Was feeling particularly adventorous today.so decided to jump off a moving train.now hav to buy my nephew a new train set
@moist_jeff: *Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!
@77StephanieG77: Text from mom: How's my baby girl? Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much
@InternetHippo: All the adults who used to tell me "When you're older you'll understand" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news