@causticbob: I still see some of my ex-girlfriends. Well, not so much see, more like...watch.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LindaInDisguise: Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
@FatherWithTwins: You know what this new carpet needs? For me to open a tube of blue toothpaste, and jump up and down on it. - My 4yo. Apparently.
@mattsurely: "I got you this for Valentine's Day." [she opens the box and reveals several People magazines inside] "I think we should see other people."