@_odlanyeR: I still think my biggest regret is asking a girl out, and replying "me too" after she told me she had a boyfriend
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@cwhudson: [Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless
@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
@CulturedRuffian: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween.