@WilliamAder: I stopped carrying my phone in my shirt pocket, because every time it vibrated my first thought was: Heart attack!
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@_NTFG_: SHAME ON YOU LOT for showing newby tweeters bad behaviour this weekend *ring ring* ME: Hello FRIEND: Nat. Why is my son saying the F Word?
@LennoxTruman: "Sure it's a dental PRACTICE, but dont fret, I know what I'm doing. Open wide." *opens wide* "Ok which ones are the teeths? Where are teeth"
@tastefactory: "What're you in for?" "I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."
@KKAlThani: 1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone "It's done. He's dead." 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can