@IamEnidColeslaw: I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks
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@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
@BurroFuma: I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he's worse than a tweet thief; he's a time-travelling tweet thief!
@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end HER: wtf?