@IamEnidColeslaw: I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks
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@Black__Elvis: I wanted to major in marine biology but those guys get pretty upset when you follow them into the latrine with a tape measure.
@XplodingUnicorn: Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*
@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.
@DaddyJew: Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday