@MarlonBrandNO: I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist
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@AnissaClingman: My brother & I've competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club...on FB. Well played brother, well played
@Lhlodder: I believe there are people on this planet who were born to get in everyone’s way at the grocery store.
@patrickmarkryan: *filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* "the leather keeps sticking to my back" "for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"