@MarlonBrandNO: I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist
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@LlamaInaTux: TONIGHT ON HOUSE HUNTERS *extremely Australian accent* This here house is one of the most deadly in the world. Imma poke it with a stick
@Brampersandon_: DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys
@loudmouth_usa: TSA Agent (looking at my ID): Is this you? Me: I believe that is ultimately your decision to make sir.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not.