@MarlonBrandNO: I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist
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@adamlucidi: You're following a man who once stole someone's garbage can lid and used it as an umbrella. That's on you.
@Ndeshi_M: Bailiff: State your name for the court Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe... Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!
@LeBearGirdle: Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage? Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!