@goldengateblond: I suck in my stomach when I weigh myself like my scale will be all "oh she's much thinner than I thought, I'll adjust the numbers."
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@ThaJawn: Columbus: I like it here Native American: Me too, that's why I live here Columbus: Why you 'used to live here'
@lemmywinkler: Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I'm just cooking!"
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos