@goldengateblond: I suck in my stomach when I weigh myself like my scale will be all "oh she's much thinner than I thought, I'll adjust the numbers."
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@SamGrittner: "WHAT DO WE WANT?!" "SELF-CONFIDENCE!" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*
@FilthyRichmond: I got tired of our restroom smelling like other people's crap so I placed a chunk of mine behind the hot air vent.
@dubiousgenius: Then they came for the bins, and I did not speak out, because I was not a bin man, and they were, and that was their job.
@zwina_summer: My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time.