@Annoyedworld: I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn't make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!
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@samalmightysam: That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery.
@FilthyRichmond: Our son brought weed to Show & Tell and the teacher sent him home with $50 pinned to his shirt.
@gerryhallcomedy: me: *turns around in swivel chair* *tents fingers* I guess you never expected to see ME again... Boss: Must we do this every Monday?