@JermHimselfish: I suffer from a rare condition called OCDC, which forces me to salute all of those who are about to rock.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I'm extremely good at being so close to getting a prediction right. I'm like an Almostradamus.
@martyntanton: Just been banned from my church's Easter service. Apparently the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't "Ta-Daa!"
@BlindChow: WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh…sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit