@JermHimselfish: I suffer from a rare condition called OCDC, which forces me to salute all of those who are about to rock.
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@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.
@deelizabeth_: Biden: So I got a bunch of balloons and when he gets here-- Obama: Joe, please Biden: --we're gonna rub them on his hair & see what happens
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Doc, I haven't been able to bone my wife lately and I really think- DR DOG: Wait. Tell me more about the bone part