@thereverendcink: I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now
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@MissBamantha: A Haiku For My Salad: I do not like you You will never be grilled cheese You make my mouth sad
@tuckerflodman: [1st date] -I'm a fish whisperer. Wow, what does that mean? -*whispers* Fish. Oh... Haha um what do you- -*whispers right in her ear* Fish.
@bakedbrotatoes: -You talkin to my girl? *pops knuckles* -What if I am? *cracks neck* *dislocates shoulder* *breaks collarbone* *fractures skull*
@Fred_Delicious: *approaches girl in bar* *passes right through her* *i've been dead for 73 years*